Stories about bullying are often informed by a writer’s experiences whether we are aware of it or not.
Our stories are also influenced by the experiences of others.
Sometimes we witness events that we never stop thinking about, at least not until we write about it.
WITNESSING BULLYING
For a writer, an unforgettable experience can provide the roots for a story, though that story may not seem directly linked to the original event.
I was once told a true story that stayed with me for a long time and which I am sure informed my story The Tree Hugger.
The Tree Hugger is included in my collection of stories: When Things Go Wonky.
The story is about a girl who witnesses bullying in her school but feels powerless to do anything about it.
The story that drove me to want to write a story about bullying was told to me by a student when I was teaching in a college some years ago.
This student had a severe disability that affected his mobility and he had to use a wheelchair.
He wrote and spoke openly about the bullying he endured at school and I was shocked to hear just how intense and sadistic his bullies had been.
His parents had done their best to protect him by moving him from one school to another.
But, the bullying continued throughout his school life and culminated with him being dragged from his wheelchair, stabbed with various implements and having his chair thrown into a river.
What was even more shocking and upsetting to me was the response of the teachers in whom he confided.
BE BAD!
One teacher questioned whether he could cope with the ups and downs of school life!
Another teacher suggested that he was too much of a ‘goody-goody’ and should try to ‘be bad’ for a change.
Just what form of ‘badness’ the teacher wanted this boy to get up to wasn’t clear.
From discussing this incident with other students it appears that this is typical of the glib response received by those who are bullied when they ‘tell.’
All children should reach safety when they ‘tell’ and it is clear how important it is to deal with bullying early before it grows into more sadistic and damaging behaviour.
PERSONALLY SPEAKING
This was certainly true when I was a child. Growing up in the inner city of Liverpool as a quiet, shy and ‘swotty’ kid I certainly experienced bullying.
Sadly, I remember some of the teachers as being the worst bullies of all.
The violence, both physical and emotional, that they inflicted on the children in their care was repeated in the playground.
Children learn by example and of course, this includes bullying behaviour.
From time to time I meet people who went to school during these times and sometimes they say things like ‘well it never did me any harm.’
It makes me sad when I hear this, especially from people with untreated mental or addiction problems who have made the connection between the violence of their childhood and the problems in their life.
I had hoped that things had changed since then but sadly it hasn’t.
There are new and worse stories about bullying in the media every day and today’s bullies enjoy a new range of tools.
Bullies thrive in making their victims keep their plight a secret.
One way parents can make sure their children confide in them about bullying is to open up the subject through reading and I hope that my stories can help with this.
Best wishes
Grace
P.S. Please feel free to comment below – I always do my best to reply.
The Tree Hugger is one of eight stories included in my collection – When Things Go Wonky.
Download When Things Go Wonky Here
Thanks so much for this insightful article. I don’t think there can be enough written on this topic. I had the privilege of writing a non-fiction article for Horses All earlier this year on how exposure to animals, specifically horses, can help both the bullied and the bullies. Some equine-assisted therapy practitioners are now offering special programs for both groups where a lot of learning takes place, so I researched those groups and wrote about them. It has already been proven that spending time in nature and around animals is a huge factor in helping children develop traits like compassion and empathy, something that is greatly lacking for them today. Warm regards, Carol Upton
Thank you, Carol it is so lovely to get feedback and to hear about your research. I agree with you totally and I believe spending time in nature and around animals is very calming and puts our problems in perspective – maybe by making them seem smaller in contrast to the absolute beauty and magnitude of the natural world. It has certainly worked for me.